Caution: Tyrannosaur Under Pressure
by The Owl's Pen
Summary: Bonnie has a surprise up her sleeve for Rex, and it's about to complicate the Tyrannosaur's life in ways he never imagined!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Toy Story, Godzilla, or any of the other franchises _*cough _ThePrincessBride_ cough* _referenced in this fic.

Rated: T to be safe.

* * *

**Roar!**

_"Roar!"_

"Nope."

"O-okay… _r-r-roar!"_

Woody smiled sympathetically. "Still not scary, Rex."

The green plastic dinosaur waved his little arms in frustration and sucked in a huge breath. _"ROOOOAR!"_

Potato Head glanced up in annoyance from the card game that he and Buttercup were playing. "Rex, seriously. You've been working on this for about thirteen years. I think by now your roar should be declared extinct."

"But I'm a _dinosaur," _Rex whimpered.

"A _toy _dinosaur," Dolly pointed out gently. "It's not like you need to intimidate prey or anything."

"I-I know…" The T-Rex worked his fingers together nervously. "But without a really fearsome roar it's like I'm _naked!"_

Woody and Dolly shared an amused glance. Andy's toys had only been at Bonnie's for a few weeks now, but in that short time the green dinosaur had become fixated on one of his old anxieties: roaring. The toys had alternately tried to convince Rex that he didn't need to be terrifying or else help him with his roaring exercises, but none of it seemed to do much good. The poor tyrannosaur was starting to get paranoid.

As the Peas-in-a-Pod volunteered to imitate helpless prey for Rex to chase across the hardwood floor, Dolly shook her head.

"Has Rex always been this self-conscious?" she asked.

Woody smiled. "Not for the past nine years or so. But before that, yes. I think being played with again after so long has made him a little anxious to please." He paused, then added, "Either that, or he wants to impress Trixie."

The little rag doll grinned. "You know she's just happy to have someone who loves video games around, dinosaur or not."

"I think Rex feels the same way."

"But I don't _want _to hunt you down and rip you to shreds!" Rex was saying to the Peas. "I just want to be able to be able to roar!"

By now most of the other toys had joined the huddle.

"I'm sure you can roar good an' loud if you really _need _to, Rex," Jessie said consolingly. "Maybe you're like Bullseye. He don't whinny unless he has a real good reason, do ya boy?"

The toy horse shook his head and whickered.

Jessie smiled and patted Rex's hand. "Y'see? Maybe you just ain't the type to be noisy. Some folks make a habit of hollerin' all the time-"

"Says the voice of experience!" Woody couldn't resist adding.

The cowgirl shot him a glare. He edged behind Dolly, grinning.

"And _some _folks only holler when they get hog-tied with their own pull string and left out in the yard at night," Jessie finished, raising an eyebrow meaningfully.

"But I _need _to be loud," Rex moaned. "You heard what Andy said when he gave me to Bonnie. I'm supposed to be _terrifying!"_

Suddenly there was the distinct sound of a child's running footsteps.

"Speaking of Bonnie!" Dolly gasped. "Take your places!"

Instantly every toy in the room ran back to their spots. Bonnie charged through the door a moment later, her short brown hair bobbing against her neck as she hopped up and down excitedly.

"Lookit you guys!" she squealed, holding up a small box for all of them to see. "New toys! They're really neat," she babbled, opening the box. "See, what you do is you take them out-"

She pulled three speckled white orbs out of the container and set them on her nightstand.

"- and put them in water – hang on-"

Bonnie grabbed an empty glass from the stand, ran across the hall to the bathroom, and came back a moment later with a full glass. She dropped the spheres in.

"- and then you wait! And in a couple days you get a really neat surprise. You guys will like 'em, _especially _you, Rex," she beamed, picking the green tyrannosaur up and putting him by the pillow on her bed. "These are gonna be yours to take care of!"

"Bonnie!" her mother called from the kitchen. "Come wash your hands! It's time for lunch."

"Coming!" the little girl called back. She patted Rex on the head. "Now you watch these real carefully, Mr. Tyrannosaur."

She jumped off the bed and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

For a few moments there was silence. Then the toys cautiously began to come to life. Woody stood and exchanged a look with Dolly. If it was possible for a craft-eyed doll's eyes to get

wider, hers did. Woody knew what she was thinking.

Just what kind of a surprise were they in for?

He gestured to the nightstand. "Wanna go take a look?"

"And march bravely into the unknown?" Dolly grinned. "Sure."

The rest of the toys had gathered at the foot of the nightstand and were babbling curiously.

"How many are there?"

"What do they look like?"

"What kinda surprise do ya reckon it'll be?"

"How long until we find out?" Buzz wanted to know.

Woody shrugged. "Not sure. It probably says on the box. Hey Rex!" he called up to the dinosaur. "Does the carton say how long it takes to find out what the surprise is?"

Silence.

"Rex?"

Still no reply.

Woody threw a glance at Buzz, who was frowning in puzzlement. Silently the space ranger stepped forward and gave Woody a boost up the side of the bed. The cowboy crawled over the edge and stood up.

Rex was sitting perfectly still on the pillow, his little arms clutched tightly to his chest as he stared wide-eyed at the water glass. He looked terrified.

"Rex?" Woody walked over and poked him in the shoulder. "You okay?"

The dinosaur blinked and finally looked at his friend.

"I'm a dad," he whimpered.

"_Wh-what?" _Woody sputtered.

Rex began to wring his hands. "Sh-she told me they're mine… they can't be mine… I'm not ready for this…"

"Now hang on a second! What makes you think-"

"The _box!" _Rex wailed, pointing a trembling green arm. _"Just look at the box!"_

Woody glanced over to the nightstand. The flimsy cardboard box lay on its side, pieces of plastic packaging spilling out along with something that looked like it might be an instruction sheet. On the side of the box were pictures of a white oval in different stages: an orb in a glass of water, a somewhat bigger orb with cracks in it, a broken orb with something green poking out of it. The last picture was of a little green creature standing upright.

"_Uh oh,"_ Woody breathed.

The front of the box read "Grow-A-Saurus."

* * *

"C'mon Rex, take a nice breath in…and out…there ya go…"

Rex was grateful that at least one toy in the room knew what it was like to have a panic attack. Jessie had climbed up on the bed and begun trying to calm him once Woody realized that the toy dino was hyperventilating.

"You gonna be okay, Rex?" Woody asked gently.

The tyrannosaur whimpered. "I – I don't know…"

Jessie patted his arm. "Sure you will," she soothed. "You just got a little shook up, that's all."

Rex moaned.

By now many of the other toys had gotten onto the bed or the nightstand and were exploring the contents of the Grow-A-Saurus box.

"It says here," Hamm read from the instruction sheet, "That once placed in water, the eggs will grow and begin to hatch within twenty-four hours-"

"_Twenty-four hours?" _Rex shrieked.

"- and that the hatchlings will reach full size within forty-eight hours," the piggybank continued, "At which time they will be ready for fun and games."

"_Neat!" _Trixie squealed. "Does it say what kind of dinos they are?"

Hamm flipped the sheet over. "Eh, negative. Looks like it could be a variety pack." He pointed his hoof at the colorful photograph of several different types of baby dinosaurs posed in fake Jurassic shrubbery.

"Variety?" Rex panted. _"Variety? _You mean like herbivores and carnivores all together at once?" His arms flailed in horror. _"What if they try to eat each other?"_

Hamm snorted. "Inconceivable."

"They're _toys!" _Woody said for the umpteenth time. "They're not going to eat _anything _unless we teach them how to, right?"

Rex wrung his little hands. "I thought Bonnie _liked _me," he whimpered.

"She does like you!" Woody protested.

"Then why did she make me a _father?" _he wailed. "Why didn't she pick Trixie to be the parent? _She's _a dinosaur!"

"_Me?" _the triceratops squeaked. "Oh no, no no no no no! The only thing I know how to take care of is a _computer!"_

"But you're a girl!"

"I'm a _career _girl!" Trixie shot back.

The tyrannosaur shook his head vigorously. It wasn't fair! All he wanted to do was play video games and get played with by Bonnie. _He_ didn't want to be a parent. _He _didn't want to be responsible for someone else. Rex had a hard enough time keeping _himself _from getting into scrapes, much less keeping a couple of babies out of trouble. He wasn't ready for this!

"What if they don't like me?" he moaned.

"Rex, Bonnie's just playing," Buzz spoke up.

Woody nodded vigorously. "Sure she is!"

"But she told me they're _mine!" _the T-Rex wailed. "She wants _me _to take care of them!"

"She's pretending," Dolly put in.

"_But-"_

"_Rex," _Woody interrupted. _"They are toys! _You don't have anything to worry about."

"But what if they're tyrannosaurs?" Rex cried. "It doesn't matter if they're toys or not! What if they expect me to be a role model? How can I be a good example if I can't even _roar?"_

"Try it again!" Jessie encouraged. "Maybe now that you got somethin' to roar about, you can do it!"

"Motivation!" Mr. Pricklepants cried.

Instantly the other toys chimed in.

"Try it, Rex!"

"You can do it!"

"Knock my ears out, Godzilla!"

The tyrannosaur perked up. "Really? Do you… do you think this will do it?"

"You ain't gonna know until you try, are you?"

"Well, I… n-no…"

"Go on!" Trixie said excitedly.

Rex laced his fingers together nervously, took a great big breath, hesitated… Trixie was beaming at him. He sucked in another big breath and gave it his all.

"_ROAR!" _he shouted.

The toys winced.

Rex looked to Jessie for a verdict. The cowgirl bit her lip.

"Maybe I can teach you to yodel," she suggested.

* * *

_*grins* _Yeah, I totally borrowed Wallace Shawn's line from "The Princess Bride" and gave it to Hamm :D

Hello everyone! This will be a three chapter fic, so the fun is definitely not over yet! I love Rex to death and have known from the start that I wanted to write something for him, but I wasn't sure what. I thought about a Rex and Trixie romance, but that seemed a little obvious. The idea of Bonnie possibly making Rex and Trixie get married and have babies popped into my head, and I wondered how paranoid Rex would feel about having to be a role model and a parent, not to mention a married dinosaur. And then I thought "No wait! Even better! Let's make Rex a single dad!" It's a simple concept, but I think I have a few surprises up my sleeve for you :)

The other two chapters are about seventy-five percent complete. So, I plan on posting once a week for the next few weeks. I'll see you again next saturday! ~Owl


	2. Peas and Thank You

I do not own any of the franchises listed in this chapter!

* * *

Peas and Thank You

He needed a role model.

For years, the only stereotype that Rex had wanted to fill was that of a classic Tyrannosaurus. He'd gotten inspiration from movies and books and Andy's glowing imagination, but now that he needed to learn how to be a dad, he wasn't really sure who to turn to. Andy's father had died not long after Molly was born, and Rex had never met him. Bonnie's dad seemed nice and often played with his daughter and her toys. But Rex couldn't exactly pop to life and ask for some pointers on parenting. In the end, he decided to turn to his friends for help.

He started with Mr. Potato Head.

"Why me?" the plastic spud demanded.

_"Pleeeeeease?" _Rex begged. "You're the only toy I know who's a dad!"

"Hmph. Wasn't exactly my first choice."

"What?"

Potato Head flung his hands up in exasperation.

"Okay, fine. You wanna know how to be a good parent? Rule Number One: Discipline! The kids do _exactly _what you tell them to do when you tell 'em to do it. Even if they don't want to do stuff, _make 'em. _Builds character. Rule Number Two: Demand Respect! They call you 'Sir' and they call your missus 'Ma'am'. They don't interrupt, and they don't talk back. Rule Number Three: Be Consistent!" He rolled his eyes. "Don't tell the kids they can't stay up late to watch a sci-fi marathon and then let Buzz Lightyear talk you into letting them stay up anyway. You lay down the law and that's it." He shook his finger at the dino impressively. _"No waffling."_

"O-okay…" Rex shuffled his feet around nervously. "Is… that all?"

Mr. Potato Head shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much. Follow those three rules and you can't go wrong."

The toy dinosaur fidgeted a bit. "But… but what about stuff like telling them bed-time stories and hugging them when they're scared? What about making sure they have their lunch money on pizza day, or m-maybe getting them a puppy for their birthday? Isn't that important?"

Potato Head snorted. "Well yeah, there's mushy stuff like that too, I guess."

"How do I do that?" Rex asked eagerly.

"I have no idea," the spud said shortly. "The missus takes care of that."

Rex wilted slightly. "But I don't-"

"Have a missus, I know, I know," Potato Head cut in grimly. "You should get one."

_"Me?" _Rex squeaked. "B-but-"

"Have you thought about Trixie?"

The poor dinosaur quickly excused himself. He didn't think he could handle becoming a father _and _a married toy all in the same day!

Next, he tried talking to Jessie.

"Oh golly, Rex!" she gasped. "What makes you think _I'd _know anything about bein' a parent?"

"You take care of Bullseye," Rex pointed out. "You're kind of like his mama, aren't you?"

The cowgirl's face flushed and she looked down at her boots. "Well gee… we sorta take care of each other, y'know? We only had each other all those years we were in storage together before the Prospector came along and…"

Her voice trailed away. She risked a glance at Bullseye. The little horse was smiling at her, his short tail whisking happily back and forth, big eyes glowing. He ducked his head under Jessie's hand, silently asking her to pet him. The cowgirl gave a wobbly sort of smile as her fingers began to rub through his mane.

"I guess I never really thought about it like that," she murmured. "I just always wanted to make Bullseye as happy as he makes me-"

The toy horse's tail wig-wagged even faster.

"- and I guess I just got used to makin' sure he always had what he needed. I mean, he can't talk or anything, so I had to learn to listen real good."

"But _how?" _Rex persisted. "How do you know if he can't talk?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. I guess, bein' that I'm a cowgirl and he's a horse and we're both toys from _Woody's Roundup, _I just know."

Rex fidgeted. "But you're a _girl," _he said finally. "M-maybe _that's _why you know what to do…"

Jessie grinned. "Try tellin' that to Woody. He knows how to take care of Bullseye the same as I do, and _he _ain't a girl. You'll figure out what to do once you spend some time with the babies, Rex."

"But what if they don't like me?"

"I like you," Jessie said gently. "Bonnie likes you. So do Buzz and Woody and Trixie and Dolly… all of our friends _love _you, Rex. Why should the babies be any different?"

He gulped.

What if they _didn't_ like him? What if the babies were _scared_ of him? What if they took one look at his oversized jaws and his undersized arms and realized that he wasn't built to be a nurturing parent? What if they _cried? _What he really needed, he decided, was feedback from toys _younger _than himself. Toys who were like children.

He asked the Peas-in-a-Pod

"Let 'em stay up late!" Peatey shouted.

"An' watch scary movies!" Peatrice chimed in. "An' eat as much ice cream as they want!"

Peanelope spoke up solemnly. "And never _ever _make 'em do stuff they don't wanna."

"But…" Rex fidgeted hopelessly. "… what about making them do stuff because it's good for them? Like homework and brushing their teeth and - and eating their vegetables?"

The Peas' eyes went wide.

Rex blinked. "What?"

"_Cannibal," _Peatey whispered.

"W-what?"

"_Cannibal!" _they screamed. _"Vegetarian!"_

Rex flailed his arms desperately. "N-no! Wait! I don't even like veggies! I'm a _carnivore!"_

"_Auuuuuuuugh!"_

They fled. Rex whimpered. He _really _needed some parenting lessons.

He just didn't know who to turn to.

* * *

At first Woody wasn't sure what had woken him.

Bonnie's room was very quiet, with only the sounds of the little girl's soft breathing and the subtle whirring of her nightlight. The cowboy doll cautiously turned his head to look at the child. Patterns of moons and stars drifted over her face from the nightlight. She was definitely asleep.

For a moment Woody watched her, a faint smile on his face. It still gave him a thrill, after all these years, just to watch a kid sleep. It was one of the things he had cherished most about being Andy's favorite toy. Sleeping in the toy box with all of his friends could never, ever compare to this.

Woody slipped out from under the covers. He craned his neck to look around the room. Dolly and Buttercup were here in bed with Bonnie. Jessie, Bullseye, Buzz, Slink, and Mr. Pricklepants were arranged on the toy chest. The Potato Heads and their alien children were sitting at the tea table, while Torotoro, Hamm, Trixie, and the Peas-in-a-Pod were lying in the new toy hammock. Rex…

Woody frowned. Rex should have been in the hammock as well. Woody remembered seeing Bonnie put him there. Perhaps he had fallen out. The Sheriff clambered down the side of the bed and landed noiselessly on the floor. He was about to start hunting around for the Tyrannosaur when he noticed the door ajar. On a hunch, he tiptoed out of the room and down the hall.

He found Rex sitting in front of the computer. The toy dinosaur was staring at the screen.

"_Rex."_

Rex blinked and looked down at Woody.

"What are you _doing?" _the cowboy demanded in a whisper. "You know you're not supposed to go anywhere at night without a lookout."

"Woody," the T-Rex whimpered, "Do you have a credit card I could borrow?"

"_What?"_

"I'll try to pay you back…"

Woody groaned in frustration and began climbing the chair. "Rex, why don't you just begin at the beginning and tell me exactly why you need a credit card at three o'clock in the morning."

"It-it's because of the baby dinosaurs-"

"Naturally."

Rex was shaking visibly. "I couldn't sleep," he whispered. "I kept thinking about what a big responsibility babies are, and I thought I'd feel better if I did some research-"

"Research?" Woody paused with one leg over the chair back and raised an eyebrow at his friend.

"Well, yeah. I found this website about how to take care of baby dinosaurs-"

"You _did?"_

Rex made a little choking noise. "Yes. And oh Woody it's _awful! _I never _knew _how much stuff baby dinosaurs need! Special food a-and blankets and playpens… and c-car seats… and diapers…"

"_Diapers?"_

"And it's so _expensive…"_

By now Woody had pulled himself up onto the desk and could get a good view of the computer screen. He glanced over it quickly. He coughed.

"Um, Rex, what did you type into the search engine?"

The dinosaur sniffled. "Babysaurus dot com."

The cowboy choked. "Rex, you got redirected to Babies_R_Us."

More sniffling. "S-so?"

"It's a store for _human _babies," Woody said, desperately trying to hold back a laugh. "You don't – you don't need all this stuff."

"You mean-" _sniff _"-I spent all this time-" _sniff sniff _"-creating a registry-" _sniff _"-for _nothing?"_

Woody couldn't help it. He dropped to his knees and laughed harder than he had in years.

Rex stopped sniffling and stared at his friend in bewilderment.

"I'm sorry!" Woody giggled, trying to get ahold of himself. "I'm-I'm really sorry Rex!"

He finally calmed down and gave his dinosaur pal a warm smile. Rex smiled back timidly. Woody shook his head.

"No Rex, I don't think you need to create a baby registry. Not on this site or any other. In fact, I think the best thing you could do is turn the computer off."

"But-"

"Now," the Sheriff said gently. "And then I want to tell you a few things, okay?"

Rex nodded, obviously confused.

Once the computer had been completely shut off, Woody helped Rex to climb down. He motioned for the dinosaur to follow him back to Bonnie's room. The two toys sat down on the bookshelf, where there was the least chance of disturbing the little girl with their whispers.

"Now," Woody began, "The first thing you need to remember is that these are _toy _dinosaurs, Rex. Not live ones. So you don't need to worry about anything other than normal toy maintenance stuff, which I think we've got pretty much down pat after more than thirteen years, right?"

The Tyrannosaur gave a nod.

"And anyway, nobody's gonna have an on-line baby dinosaur care guide because dinosaurs are… uh…w-well…"

"Extinct?" Rex said faintly.

Woody put a comforting arm around his friend's shoulders. _"Live_ dinosaurs are extinct," he reminded him, "Not toy ones. I don't think toy dinos will _ever _go extinct. They're too loveable."

Rex managed a worried little smile.

"Second, keep in mind that we're all here to help you. If you need _anything, _anything at all, just ask us, okay?"

The toy dinosaur wrung his tiny hands nervously. "O-okay…"

"That goes double for me," Woody said, giving Rex's shoulder a little shake. "Any time, day or night, sleeping or playing, you can come to me for anything."

Slowly, the panicky expression faded from the dinosaur's face, and changed to a look of wonder. A little smile spread across his jaws.

"What?" Woody asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"Woody," Rex asked, regarding him with awe. "Who taught you to be such a great dad?"

* * *

Hello to all!

Thanks so much fo your great response, everybody! I didn't expect chapter one to get such a nice reception :D

I actually wrote Woody's part of this chapter before anything else. It was one of those rare instances where the characters just stepped right up and told me what they needed to say. It took me about fifteen minutes to type and I only changed one or two sentences. That _never _happens when I write! I guess I just love the dynamic between Rex and Woody so much that this sequence came naturally :)

Thanks for reading! I'll see you next saturday ~Owl


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